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twitchystitchwitch · 4 months ago

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Author's Note: This is the first fic I am posting in ages, my cognitive function is a pathetic little rollercoaster so writing consistently is difficult. I'll be going back to edit later, possibly. It will be edited before I post it over to my AO3. I feel like the ending is kinda weak but I didn't want this evolving into a super long story. I'm glad I'm only a day late. * in the work indicate italics, I will go through and format later

Summary: The events in episode Not Lout of Race to the Edge go differently, and Snotlout faves his biggest fear the episode faces

Content warnings: permanent injury, internalized ableism, torture, blood, possible major character death (it is left open ended)

Characters: Snotlout Jorgenson, Ryker Grimborn, Viggo Grimborn, Hiccup Haddock

Word count: 5446

Finally, *finally* things were going right. Snotlout still wasn't one to think things through, but every command he gave on instinct seemed to be going right for once. He was going to show the others he had what it took to be a leader. He was going to show *Hiccup* that he had what it took to be a leader. And then, all at once, things were falling apart. He had stopped watching the anti-dragon artillery for a moment to argue with Astrid, and when he looked back it was already too late. Hiccup was too far away to hear him, and the large projectile was already headed right for Toothless.

So, Snotlout did what he always did best. He acted. He urged Hookfang forward, going to try and knock Hiccup out of the way again. He didn't see how close the weapon was to them, though, and before he was even close to knocking Toothless off of the weapon's path there was an impact. It didn't hit at the right angle to pierce Hookfang's scales, but it knocked him over and sent Snotlout flying from the saddle. They were too close to the ground to recover from it, but at the same time they were too far from the ground for the fall to be safe.

The ground came faster than Snotlout could have prepared himself for, and when he hit it the world went black.

Snotlout only knew that he'd been out for a matter of seconds thanks to the battle still raging. Up in the sky above him, his fellow riders were fighting harder than usual, and after a moment he realized why. He was grounded behind enemy lines, and Hookfang was flying in the sky riderless. Despite their efforts, though, there were too many things going on at once. The hunters had been prepared, and they had all manner of weapons to keep the riders in the air and away from their heavy weapons.

For once, Snotlout was patient. He watched as Hookfang repeatedly tried to dive down towards the ground to pick him up, only to be chased off each time. If nothing changed, then the other riders would continue to get held back by the hunters on the ground and the heavy-duty weaponry. Snotlout tried to sit up to look around and find a way to help from the ground, but he quickly realized something was wrong. He was able to push himself to sit up with his arms, but immediately pain shot up his spine from his lower back. As badly as his back ached and throbbed, though, the pain didn't extend down into his hips. His focus entirely left the fighting as he looked down at his legs. He had thought they were laying straight out in front of him, but one of them was folded out to the side and he hadn't even noticed it.

The realization that he couldn't feel his legs at all hit him hard, and immediately Snotlout began to scream Hookfang's name. He didn't want to be alone as the realization sunk in that he was seriously hurt. His calls were met with a roar, and when he looked up he saw Hookfang repeatedly flying towards the ground and then returning higher in the sky to escape arrows. He knew that if Hookfang kept trying to get to him it would only end with his dragon getting hurt or killed. His voice was higher in pitch than he meant it to be, and it wavered as he called, "I'm okay, Hooky! Fall back!"

Except he wasn't okay. Snotlout usually snapped at people when he was hurting, but out of the saddle and unable to get to his feet he couldn't do anything to ease the panic raging in his chest. *He had so much potential*. Those thoughts had haunted him since that stupid dream, and now it seemed like it was all coming true. His chest hurt as his heart beat faster than it ever had before, and Snotlout could feel a tight lump in his throat as he fought back tears.

In a desperate attempt to quell his panic Snotlout looked back up to the fight above him. It didn't do him any good, because he saw how much of a struggle everyone was having. Seeing his friends all narrowly avoiding danger and still making no progress in taking down the weapons on the ground Snotlout made another split second decision. He uses one hand to keep himself supported and cupped the other around his mouth to help his voice carry further, "I'll be fine! Go find the dragonroot and destroy it!" That was why they were even there in the first place. They would all probably rather finish the job and leave him if it meant they were safe, anyways.

Despite how certain Snotlout felt that they didn't truly care to save him he saw a moment of hesitation on Hiccup's face. Part of him hoped Hiccup would refuse and would keep fighting to save him. He didn't, though. After a moment, Hiccup gave a nod and called for the other riders to fall back.

Hookfang didn't leave, though. He gave a roar and made another dive for the ground to get Snotlout. He couldn't let his dragon get hurt because of him, though. Not again. He had already caused Hookfang so many problems in their time as dragon and rider.

"Hookfang, follow Hiccup and Toothless!" His voice was sharp and commanding that time, and he was relieved he could at least keep up the charade that he was fine. After a long roar of displeasure Hookfang turned and followed the rest of the riders as they retreated. At least Hookfang had listened to him for once.

The satisfaction of being listened to didn't last. Hiccup and Hookfang had listened, but they had listened to him asking them to abandon him. Snotlout was alone, and he couldn't feel his legs, and there were hunters everywhere. With the dragons and their riders disappearing over the horizon the hunters finally had a break from defending their position. The hunters also had a chance to see their prize. One of the hunters that had been manning the heavy artillery stepped down from his post and approached Snotlout. The hunter would have been far taller than Snotlout even if the rider had been standing, so with Snotlout stuck sitting on the ground he felt pathetically tiny compared to the hunter.

Despite the vulnerable position, Snotlout tried to keep up the brave act, "Stay back! You don't want to mess with me!" He didn't have anything to fight with, though. He was unarmed, and he couldn't even try to flee. The fact that he was trembling didn't make him any more intimidating.

"Oh yeah? What are you going to do if I don't?" The hunter didn't wait for an answer. He grabbed Snotlout by the back of his shirt and hefted him up like a scruffed cat.

As Snotlout's heart raced the blood rushed in his ears and left everything sounding distant and muffled. Having his legs dangling limply and nothing supporting his back made the pain in his back spike. It felt like there was too much pressure in his spine, and he had to grit his teeth to keep from crying out. Through it all he still heard the hunter that picked him up start to guffaw. It was easy at first to think they were just laughing at him for being such a coward. The true reason became clear when the hunter spoke, though.

"What, are you so scared you pissed yourself?" The hunter's free hand pointed down at Snotlout's pants as he kept laughing.

Snotlout's stomach sank as he looked down and saw that he had wet himself. He hadn't even felt his bladder releasing or the wetness on his pants. He opened his mouth to try and argue, but all that came out was a whimper. He still couldn't feel or move his legs, and the realization made the whimper turn into a sob.

"Look at his legs, I don't think he was scared," every hunter that had been manning the ambush had gathered around to see their new captive dragon rider, and one of them pointed at the way Snotlout's legs hung entirely limp. "Must have fallen too far. That'll make him easy to keep."

Snotlout wished he had never sent the others away. He didn't want them to see him like this, but he didn't want to be alone. It felt like that dream was coming to life all around him. He wouldn't be able to ride Hookfang again, and he wouldn't be able to take over the dragon riders. He had come so *so close* to proving himself to Hiccup, and at the last minute he had ruined it all. He couldn't stop the sobs that escaped his mouth. He was blubbering and sobbing like a child in front of the enemy, but no matter what he tried to do he couldn't stop it.

As Snotlout continued to sob one of the hunters slapped him hard across the face. "Shut it, you're making my ears hurt."

Even as pain stung across his cheek Snotlout was glad that he had been slapped. It quieted the sobs that he couldn't stop on his own. Whimpers fought to escape him, but he was able to quiet them down by keeping his lips clamped together. The tears didn't stop, but it was easier to tolerate that. When he was sobbing he could hear how pathetic and broken he sounded, and he couldn't stand it. The tears running down his face were less grating on his own nerves.

"Who knows when the rest of them will come back, let's find somewhere to hide him for now," the hunter said. "Someone can send a message to Ryker that we caught a rider."

Just like that, Snotlout was dragged off to another series of storehouses on the island. He managed to stay focused on the hunters around him and listen in, and before long he discovered that the island they were on wasn't even the only place where they grew dragon root and produced the arrows. It was salt in the wound, that the victory the riders achieved was nothing but a farce. The ambush was so unimportant that Ryker and Viggo hadn't even been stationed on the island to handle things. They were days away by ship and doing other work.

As Snotlout was locked in an old store room he felt resentment build inside of him. He hated Hiccup, the whole thing had been his plan in the first place. The fact that Snotlout had encouraged the others to go didn't matter to him anymore. In his mind, they had abandoned him. Why wouldn't they? They had all been excluding him and complaining about him for days. This was probably a perfect opportunity for them to wash their hands of the only dragon rider who seemed to be causing problems.

The thoughts worked through Snotlout's mind, and with every passing minute he felt more angry and more *hurt*. It made him feel sick to his stomach, and eventually he had to start sobbing to keep the feelings from overwhelming him entirely. He had been tossed rather carelessly into an abandoned store room, and he laid there on his stomach and sobbed with his face pressed against the dusty floor. It felt like he was trapped in the room for an eternity with only the sound of his own sobs. His mind seemed intent to fill in the silence, though. He could hear Hiccup's voice, and Astrid's, even stupid Fishface's voice kept him company. They blended together until he couldn't make sense of who was saying what. They just mocked him and belittled him.

What made it all worse was that the words he heard in the voices of his fellow riders weren't just a repeat of the words from his dream. They were telling him he *deserved* to be in the situation he found himself in. He heard Hiccup's uneven gait, the soft thud of a boot next to the clunk of metal, approach him. Snotlout didn't bother to pick his head up or even open his eyes. Hiccup was there to mock him. He wouldn't save him.

"I knew you were a fuck up, Snotlout. But I'm surprised you could get yourself into a situation this bad. Maybe that's what you're talented at, causing trouble," Hiccup's words only confirmed the fear Snotlout had held about what the other thought of him for years.

Snotlout couldn't reply. He wanted to say something smart for once, or to find a really good insult to throw back at Hiccup, but he couldn't think of anything. He could only think of what he had lost. Hookfang would need anothed rider to make sure he could actually have a life. There was no reason for Snotlout to stay around.

Snotlout didn't want to admit it, but realizing he would be useless to Hookfang was more painful than anything else. It felt like Snotlout had lost the favor of his father and even favor from Stoic overnight when Hiccup convinced the chief to make Berk a place that was friendly towards dragons. Snotlout was no longer the key to the Jorgensons taking control of Berk, because the viking values that Hiccup had always lacked weren't crucial to leadership anymore. Snotlout no longer looked like a rolemodel Hiccup should aspire to be like. Through it all, though, Hookfang had come into Snotlout's life and become something he could work towards. Things had been rough at first, and Hookfang hadn't taken to Snotlout like the other riders' dragons had. It hadn't mattered, though. Because Hookfang stayed by his side even when the two were struggling. Hookfang had started to make Snotlout realize that love wasn't always tough. Looking back on how he had treated Hookfang at first made Snotlout's stomach twist, because it was exactly the way Spitelout treated Snotlout.

And now even Hookfang was probably going to leave Snotlout. That hurt more than any amount of knowing the other riders were happy he was captured. Snotlout pressed his hands over his ears and sobbed against the floor.

It felt like time didn't exist in that room. There was no way to see out, and the building itself was almost always silent outside of the room where Snotlout laid. Snotlout eventually ran out of tears to cry, and when they happened he just laid on the floor. He has given up entirely. He wouldn't try to find a way to escape. Why should he? He was better off waiting for the hunters to kill him than he was trying to get out of there. His life was over.

Snotlout felt so broken that by the time he heard someone approach the door he didn't even try to lift his head up. Several sets of footsteps sounded on the floor in the hallway, and they all stopped outside of the door that stood a few feet in front of Snotlout. He didn't stir, even when the door was pushed open and the people filed into the room.

Snotlout would have stayed where he was and ignored the hunters that had come into the room had he not been hauled up by his hair. He didn't just have his head lifted from the ground, he was picked up by his hair and lifted up entirely. A glance to the floor told him that his feet were several inches above the ground. When he looked forward he came face to face with Ryker.

The larger man looked at Snotlout with a sneer and a clear trace of disgust in his eyes. "Any hunter is better than nothing," the words were grumbled under his breath. Ryker's sneer turned into a scowl when someone else spoke up.

"You're right that this one probably doesn't know anything useful, but he will still be plenty useful to us," Viggo somehow always managed to sound delighted, even when he had no reason to. Snotlout was beginning to understand why Hiccup was so driven to take Viggo down.

Ryker changed his grip on Snotlout, holding him by the back of the shirt and turning him to face Viggo. Snotlout didn't say anything, and he hardly felt anything either. He wouldn't get to die quickly, but maybe his death would somehow make the other riders regret leaving him.

"Goodness, you look like you've given up already. Is it those legs of yours?" Viggo shot a pointed glance down to where Snotlout's legs dangled with his toes pointed limply to the floor. "I imagine it is a shame for a fit, young rider such as yourself to suddenly find yourself facing a lifetime of limitations. Then again, surely you all know this is a risk you're facing every time you get on a dragon."

The last sentence finally sparked something in Snotlout, and he wished it didn't. Tears he didn't know he had left welled up in his eyes and his lower lip wobbled as he tried to keep himself from crying in front of the leader of the hunters. No, Snotlout had never even thought about this as a risk of riding dragons. None of them had.

"My, that certainly upset you. My apologies, I didn't mean to hit a nerve. Regardless, you'll still be useful to me. Even like this," Viggo flashed a momentary smile that made Snotlout feel cold to the bone. Nothing could be worse than what had already happened, right? "Brother, you're free to do whatever you want to him until things are set up. Just don't kill him. And leave his face recognizable. We want our dear Hiccup to know it's him when the time comes."

Snotlout had heard Heather talk about Ryker before. About how sadistic and cold he was. Another spike of terror broke through the numbness and resignation that Snotlout had felt before. "Wait, wait, I can tell you about the other riders!" He didn't think before he blurted the word out, but for once it seemed like his impulsive decision wouldn't come back to haunt him. Viggo gave a dismissive wave as he walked away. He didn't care about Snotlout.

Ryker was silent as he moved to toss Snotlout over his shoulder and start walking. No pleas Snotlout made drew any response from him, and by the time they reached the room where Ryker had been taking Snotlout the rider was sobbing so hard he couldn't breathe.

A shock of pain drew a yelp from Snotlout as he was dumped into a wooden chair. His back struck the chair in a way that sent a spike of nauseating pressure and pain up through Snotlout's spine and into his neck and shoulders. For a moment he couldn't draw a breath in, and when he did the act of breathing only sent another shock of pain through him. Snotlout's sobs died into choked off whimpers as he tried to stop agitating his back. Try as he might, though, he couldn't stop his lower lip from wobbling. Even when he looked directly at Ryker his lip wobbled and tears shone in his eyes like he was a frightened child. He couldn't stop himself from looking past Ryker, though. The far wall had an arrangement of tools and weapons hung on it.

"They, they won't care if you have me. They left me here!" Snotlout tried to talk his way into a fast death. He knew immediately that it wasn't working, though.

"That may be true, but my brother has his *plan*. I suppose we'll find out soon enough," Ryker turned away from Snotlout and walked to the wall of weapons. "I don't often get someone I need to leave alive for only a few days, if I don't get to kill someone immediately I have to make sure they live for weeks. This will be fun." He considered his options for a moment longer before he chose a knife.

Snotlout's breathing had recovered enough for him to begin sobbing again when Ryker approached him. He hated pain and he hated being scared, but he had no way out of the situation. "No, no, please, you can just kill me! You can just kill me!" As his voice rose in pitch to a shriek he brought his hands. He realized how useless the motion was, though. He couldn't protect himself with only his hands, and he couldn't hope to fight Ryker off. Before Snotlout could try and do anything, though, his wrist was grabbed and wrenched forward so his arm was trapped and exposed.

Blind panic overwhelmed Snotlout, and he reached out to try and grab the knife that was being moved towards his forearm. He succeeded, but closing his hand around the blade cut into his fingers and drew a shaky cry from him. He grit his teeth and tried to wrestle the blade away from Ryker, but the man hardly seemed to put any effort behind his movements. Without more than an annoyed huff the larger man snatched the knife from Snotlout's fingers. He released Snotlout's other hand, but only for a moment. Without breaking a sweat he forced the hand Snotlout had grabbed at the knife with flat against the armrest of the wooden chair and drove the knife through his palm and into the wood.

Snotlout howled in pain, and immediately he reached for the knife with his other hand. His fingers didn't even get close enough to brush the handle of the knife before Ryker had returned to restraining his wrist. Snotlout didn't try to move his pinned hand more than once. The pain was too bad to even hope he could get free. He wanted to kick and struggle, but his legs didn't even twitch. He squeezed his eyes closed and didn't open them after Ryker pinned his free hand to the armrest. When he heard the sound of a knife being drawn from its sheath he began to tremble, and his sobs grew louder.

Snotlout's cries cut off into another scream of pain when a knife Ryker had kept on his belt was driven into his other hand. Through his own screaming he heard Astrid's voice.

"This serves you right, you know. This could have been any one of us after that last stunt you pulled," her voice was cold, and Snotlout didn't dare risk opening his eyes in case he saw her. "We're all *glad* that it's you. At least now you won't put any of us through this."

A slight ringing had started in Snotlout's ears, but it didn't dull out Astrid's voice at all. Between the ringing and how tightly he kept his eyes squeezed closed he didn't know Ryker was walking back up to him until he felt something press against the side of one of his forearms. His mind worked overtime for a moment as he tried to figure out what it was, but he didn't have long to try and figure it out. His already overwhelmed nerves screamed with more pain as the object pressed against his forearm was pressed down. As it was dragged from just below his elbow all the way to his wrist the pain it left in its wake didn't lessen.

Despite his previous conviction to keep his eyes closed a sick sense of curiosity won out. He cracked one eye open to see what was happening.

Bile rose in his throat, and he immediately wished that he had never looked. A strip of skin had been cut away from his forearm. Ryker held another knife in one hand. Its blade was bloodied. In his other hand he held a strip of Snotlout's skin. It had been separated cleanly from the muscles of his arm. The exposed nerves only seemed to hurt more the longer they were exposed to the air.

Ryker had been examining his handiwork, but when Snotlout made a pathetic, choked noise the larger man looked up at him. "I've skinned a man's whole body without killing him. I don't think I can get that far with you, but both arms should be easy to do." He dropped the strip of skin to the side and brought the knife back to Snotlout's arm.

He couldn't keep watching the carnage, so Snotlout looked away from his arm and past Ryker. Immediately he almost wished he had just kept looking at his arm, because just past the man torturing him was Hiccup. The stupid bastard had his arms crossed, and he was giving Snotlout a smug look.

"I guess this just proves I made the right choice. Someone who was made to be a real leader wouldn't have let any of this happen," Hiccup's voice was condescending, and a surge of anger overwhelmed the terror and anguish that had been plaguing Snotlout.

"You left me behind! A good leader would never do that!" His voice came out through sobs. Snotlout didn't care if he looked or sounded pathetic anymore, though.

Before Snotlout could see how Hiccup would respond Ryker stepped in front of him and cut off his line of sight to the other rider. The hunter's face filled his vision.

"Most people I've tortured see things, but they usually last longer than this. I wonder what state you'll be in by the time my brother needs you for his plan," the look in Ryker's eyes could only be described as delight. It made Snotlout squeeze his eyes closed and turn his head to the side, just to avoid having to look at the joy that was being taken from his suffering.

Unfortunately for Snotlout, things only got worse. It would be three days until Viggo's plan would be put into play. The first day Ryker skinned both of Snotlout's arms, one section at a time. By the time the last strip of flesh was removed Snotlout had grown catatonic. Without him fighting or screaming Ryker quickly lost interest. No one would come back to the room where Snotlout was being kept for the next two days. Snotlout didn't use the lack of surveillance to try and get free, though. Why should he try? He couldn't walk, so even if he managed to free his hands he wouldn't make it very far.

At some point, he had stopped hearing and seeing the other riders mocking him, and he hated the silence even more than the mocking. He was so alone. He began to think he was just going to die alone, sitting in his own filth with his open flesh festering. Then, the door finally opened. Neither Viggo nor Ryker had come to retrieve him. Instead, some nobody hunter Snotlout had never seen stepped in.

The hunter made a face as he entered the room, and kept his nose wrinkled as he approached the chair Snotlout was in. The hunter barely acknowledged Snotlout, and save for a few grumbles about the stench he was silent as he pulled the knives from Snotlout's hands and hauled him from the chair.

Snotlout didn't keep track of where he was carried or what was going on. He didn't care anymore. Even when his arms were bound to his sides and the rope dug into his exposed muscle he didn't try to fight. No tears welled up in his eyes, either. Everything felt so dry. His eyes, his mouth, even his nose. It had become painful to breathe.

Once his arms were securely trapped Snotlout was lugged out of the store house. For the first time in days he would see the sunlight, and it burned his eyes so badly he had to squeeze them closed. By the time Snotlout tried to open his eyes again he would see the same camouflage tarps that had been used to set up the trap that had gotten him into the situation in the first place. He was secured into a rickety chair that had been set up under the tarps.

Shortly after Snotlout was secured into the chair Viggo and Ryker would join the hunter that had brought Snotlout out there. Viggo was the only one to say anything.

"I was almost surprised how well the tarps worked before to set up an ambush, but an order I made for special materials was finished just in time for this new plan of mine. Did you know there could be fireproof fabric? It's really quite ingenious. And this tarp is too low to the ground for a dragon and rider to fit under. I believe this fabric will prove to be far easier to procure than dragon proof metal. This is a test run to see how well this plan works, and I may just get a chance to separate your leader from his Night Fury while I'm at it," Viggo laid the information out to taunt Snotlout, but the rider only watched him blankly. This plan wouldn't work, because Hiccup wouldn't come back for him. None of the riders would.

With his monologue done Viggo and Ryker would walk out into the open field where the arrows had been produced before. Nothing of their arrow operation remained anymore. *Nothing* remained in the field. It was empty.

For nearly an hour Viggo and Ryker stood in the field, and Snotlout waited under the tarp. He didn't even realize there was some speck of hope left inside of him until it died. Of course none of the other riders would risk anything for a failure like him. Especially not when he would be no use to them anymore. His gaze fell to the floor and he watched the grass as the silence dragged on.

Anothee thirty minutes later the silence was finally broken by the faint sound of wings flapping, and out in the field Toothless and Hiccup would land. It didn't make sense to Snotlout, because Hiccup had been the one to leave him behind before. Why would he risk showing up just to save Snotlout? Things only puzzled Snotlout more when Hiccup dismounted. Viggo, Ryker, and Hiccup were all too far away for Snotlout to hear anything that was said, but eventually he saw Hiccup move to start unbuckling Toothless' tail prosthetic.

Whatever sort of deal was being made was interrupted by a roar that Snotlout recognized. For the first time since the whole nightmare began he actually wanted to see someone he had considered a friend at some point. It was Hookfang's roar.

Snotlout watched as his dragon spread out his wide wings to coast as close to the ground as possible. With his momentum carrying him forward Hookfang would coast under the tarp. It was a tight fit, and if Snotlout had been in the saddle it would have been impossible, but with an empty saddle Hookfang managed it. Snotlout's attention left Hiccup, Viggo, and Ryker entirely as he cried out to Hookfang. His voice was a hoarse croak, but his dragon recognized it.

Hookfang grabbed Snotlout and the chair he was tied to as he flew by, and soon the dragon had carried him out from under the tarp. Snotlout was too dehydrated to cry any tears, but he was sobbing dryly as Hookfang flew past Hiccup and to a part of the island that had no hunters on it.

When Hookfang landed he was gentle for once as he lowered Snotlout to the ground. The dragon gave a low croon and sniffed Snotlout over. Even if the dragon didn't understand what was wrong, he seemed to understand that Snotlout was hurt. He gave another croon before blowing a small, weak flame at the ropes that bound Snotlout. The material caught on fire easily enough and once the ropes had burned through they fell away from Snotlout's body. He didn't care about how badly it would hurt, as soon as Snotlout's arms were free he hugged around Hookfang's snout and buried his face against the dragon's skin.

"I'm sorry, Hooky, I'm sorry... I can't ride you anymore. I can't be your rider," Snotlout's strength began to fade, and soon he couldn't even hug around Hookfang's snout anymore. The rider slumped to the ground under Hookfang. His sobs began to slow, and as he grew too tired to keep trying to talk he felt a gentle weight on his chest as Hookfang rested his head on his chest. That last bit of comfort was worth being kept alive. He wouldn't make it much longer, but Snotlout at least knew one living creature would miss him as dehydration and fever overtook him.

#httyd whump week #snotlout jorgenson #torture #blood #i will be putting other warnings in the caption since the tags for the warnings might be more occupied by irl stuff than fiction #everything the warnings apply to will be under a readmore #viggo grimborn #ryker grimborn #hiccup haddock

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